Wardrobe Malfunction.

Major.

Two days running.

Yesterday, at the end of a long day of running errands in all four corners of this small town, I discovered a large rip in my only everyday-pair of jeans I own.  The placement and size was just about enough to make your grandma blush if she saw you from the other side of the street. Joe says this is the grand price we girls pay for purposely-worn-out-just-threw-these-$80-jeans-on-straight-out-of-the-laundry-pile jeans.

Today, I was climbing back into my car after strutting around Walmart for a half an hour in jeans I hate, argh, dislike, while wearing a smile anyway, cause that's how my mama raised me.  There, in the driver's seat, I noticed a big chocolate smear left from the chocolate chip cookie I inhaled on my way across town.  It was clear that the evidence was also smashed onto my backside.  The following and flailing inspection of my person will probably end up on the Walmart security highlight reel and is likely to become a youtube sensation.  That guy who got bit by the rattlesnake in the garden center last week at least left with some dignity after stomping the thing to death and saving the nearby children from further retaliation.  Me, not so much.

I think there is a lot to be learned here.  Vanity, gluttony....I just hope to learn the lesson before I'm brought down by all seven of the deadly sins.