Wrapping up some final house stuff, and had to jet to Ltown today. Happened to be Driskill's bday, so I had little Jem and Henry along for the ride. I think my standards must've dropped significantly from when I only had two kids myself, cause I thought the three of them (Ben, too!) did pretty stellar, as we spent nearly an hour in Home Depot hmm-ing and ha-ing over tile pieces and toilet paper holders. And I even forgot to bring the snacks in with me! We rewarded ourselves with a stop at Wendy's and a ride through the carwash. Always a good time.
Kelly warned me that we'd probably have to stop for the bathroom at some point before we returned, but I asked the little toddlers what they thought about that, and they disagreed. So we headed up the hill. Twenty minutes from home, Henry starts to holler, "Poddy! Paula! Poddy!"
I do tend to take these things seriously and pulled right over.
"You can potty on the side of the road, right Henry?" says I. I throw on my flashers, pull Hen out of the car, and dangle the half-naked kid at a 45 degree angle, using my legs to hold him at one end and my arms pulling him away from me so he doesn't pee over us both. The wind was whipping around us at a Palouse-spring-typical 50 mph, throwing what may have been snow up the back of my sweater. And if you can't picture all of this, let me clarify. If you'd been lucky enough to be driving up behind us (likely at 70 mph) you would've seen one little bare bottom hanging out and my sweater sweeping halfway up my sun-free back. It was a glorious moment to behold.
Unfortunately, the kid was having nothing of it. His legs were turning into gooseflesh, and there was no potty. Which in hindsight, probably saved us both from a wind-whipped spray of it. I simply cannot think of everything. I gave him 30 seconds in this position and then we gave up.
I tucked him quickly back in the car and jammed his carseat locked.
"Poddy. Paula! Poddy!"
Jemma looks up at me and (finally) interprets the mystery, "Buddy. He said he wants his Buddy."
Buddy. The little stuffed dog. Sitting in arm's reach of the driver's seat.
And yet, before you roll your eyes at me, he did, in fact, manage to soak himself completely through anyway, by the time I passed the baton over to grandma.
It was really a win-win, dontcha know.